Classrooms United

Under watchful eyes, we form a united front.

I remember reading "Teacher Man" by Frank McCourt over the summer, getting myself pumped for my upcoming job (ironically, I didn't like the book, but whatever). There was one part where he talks about how, when an administrator walks in, the classroom dynamic instantly changes, and there's this unity between the students and teachers that forms for as long as admin stays. Students aren't dumb - they know that when admin walks in, teachers are being evaluated. Thus, it's a test of how much they like you; if they go silent and do everything you say, you're liked and respected. If they run amok, they're trying to screw you over and make you look bad.

One day I was in grade 10 science, ready to throw up an overhead on naming polyatomic compounds. I reviewed a bit on the criss-cross rule of coming up with chemical formulas, and how to name ionic compounds. As soon as I threw up the overhead, a student said "Sir, someone's at the door."

I opened, and in walks the principal. She had spoken before how she likes to randomly walk into classrooms just to see what's going on, and to not acknowledge her presence at all.

"Hi." I said.

"Hi." was the response, and she quietly took a seat by the right side of the class.

As I walked back to the front, I saw every student looking at me with a worried look on his/her face. Hard to describe, but it looked like eyes asking "What do we do???"

"OK, so continue copying the overheads and stop when you reach this point. Once you're done, think about how it links back to ionic compounds, and then we'll discuss it as a class." As I said it, I shot them all a look that said "Stay calm, we'll be alright." And we were; she left after 10 minutes.

As soon as she did, I literally saw all of them deflate. "Sir what was that about?" "Nothing, she just wanted to see our class, that's all." "Sir, are you in trouble?" "No Sara, I don't think so." Of course, I wanted to know what she thought.

After school I walked into her office and asked for her opinion. "Oh, it was good; I had been watching for about 10 seconds before you opened the door - you had complete class control, everyone was focused and engaged. And they clearly like and respect you. But I do have some suggestions for improvement." and she broke down how I need to improve my questioning abilities. I put people on the spot, and she went into great detail about how there's no safety in failing (i.e. people are set up to possibly feel humiliated if they get the question wrong). Thus, the only people who will put up their hands are those who are extremely confident. She gave me suggestions on how to improve that and get more people willing to put up their hands. I tried it, and it's worked, though I don't use it enough.

A couple of days ago, both VP's walked into my first period class (grade 12 advanced functions) and gave a little walk around. I wasn't teaching; I was merely walking around keeping students on task and helping them out, as I had given them an assignment to help them independently form the concepts of graph transformations for trig functions.

They left after 5 minutes. Same results - the classroom went quieter, people who were in and out of focus stayed on task - though there was some chatter, but focused chatter, because I had encouraged them to help each other out.

Yesterday during lunch, I was on my way to the office to check my mailbox for my attendance updates for last two periods, and the principal and two VP's motioned me over. "Oh shit...." I thought.

"Y'ello???"

"Hi, we have an opportunity for you."

"That sounds good."

"We'd like to see your first period class. It'd be just me (principal) along with Mike (department head). We want to see how your teaching has come along, and since Mike's experienced, we want his opinion on what you're doing right, and how you could improve."

"Sure, I'm in!"

Although I like professional feedback and constructive criticism, this does worry me somewhat. With the two VP's having walked into the same classroom a day earlier, I'm wondering if they saw something they didn't like. Am I being watched? Mike spoke to me during lunch and asked me about it. He said "I don't know, she said she wants my opinion on what makes a good math class. I said 'OK, whose class should we see?' and she said 'What about one of Andrew's classes?' 'Sure OK.'" I get the sense that this was just a way of getting him to watch a class of mine to evaluate me. Is there a possibility that they're looking into hiring me full-time, and this is a test of some sort? Who the heck knows? All I know are a couple of things:

1) It's happening sometime next week, and

2) Whatever happens, I'll be alright - myself and thirty-four hormonally-charged teenagers will form a united front.

Teaching: Week 1

The first week of my teaching career.

The first week has come and gone, and, as expected, it's been a week of ups and downs. Mostly ups, thankfully - I'm not ready to kill myself and I'm only very sleep deprived.

As a first year teacher, I was given a difficult schedule naturally; **** rolls downhill, as they say. Actually, it's really not that bad. It's bad in the sense that I need to prepare for three different classes everyday (whereas most teachers only need to prepare for two, having been given one class on two different periods). But thankfully, my students make it all worthwhile (most of the time). My courses are as follows:

first period: grade 12 advanced functions - basically a calculus course that involves some vectors.

second period: grade 10 science (advanced) - currently covering chemistry.

third period: spare

fourth period: grade 11 math (basic) - math class with the weaker kids.

I didn't get a minute of sleep the night before; nervousness, excitement, and anticipation made for one intense night of tossing and turning. What would I say to my students? How would I be perceived?

On day 1, I stood outside of my classroom and greeted each student with a "Good morning." Some nodded politely, some gave back a "Hi, sir.", a few gave me a look then continued walking. And then the bell rang.

Knowing that the anthem was ready to play, I refrained from saying anything, not wanting to be interrupted. There were several seconds of awkward silence where the grade 12's just stared at me, expectantly.

"I'm not being rude by not saying anything, I know know that the anthem is about to play, so I'm waiting it out."

OK, something was said. With tension slightly alleviated, the anthem hit, the announcements went, and then it was showtime.

I knew that my biggest obstacle in teaching would be student behaviour. Thus, knowing that I would spend more than half the time getting kids to keep quiet/put their cell phones away/stop making faces at other students/stay in their seats, I decided to take a proactive approach, and spend a good chunk of day 1 setting the tone, being clear on what was expected (behaviour wise), and talking about mutual respect. I was worried this wouldn't go over well with my grade 12's, seeing as many think that sort of "kindergarten talk" is beneath them. But I went with it anyway. So, with my reputation on the line and my heart in my throat, I started.

"Welcome everyone to advanced functions, 4U (a course code). My name is Mr. XXXXX, and I will be your teacher for the semester. Seeing as this is a university-prep course, I'm guessing that many of you are planning on attending university come next fall, which is great. Now, before we get into the course content, I'd like to talk a bit about how I like to run my classes. Really, I only use one guideline, and this guideline has never once failed me for as long as I've taught (not really a lie, as I have taught a few practicums and TA'd at the university level) - mutual respect."

I then went into a 5-minute schpiel, talking about examples and non-examples of mutual respect. I discussed how they needed to show respect for themselves; by showing up to class on time, coming prepared, attentive listening when someone else - be it teacher or student - is talking, etc. After all that: "OK, I've talked for a good 10 minutes or so. If you have any questions or concerns about my policies or anything else, you can ask. Then we'll discuss the course."

First hand shoots up; a guy. "How old are you sir??"

Five others (in unison): "Yeah!"

After the required guessing game (most of which underestimated), came the next question: "Were you always a teacher?"

"No, I used to do sleep research."

And then the eyes bugged out. "Why do we sleep sir?" "Sir, why do we dream?" "How does Red Bull keep you awake when you don't sleep?" to which I made them a deal; I'd give them a sleep fact at the end some classes if I felt like they had worked hard enough and had done enough - a deal that is still holding up after 5 days of school.

The same deal worked out with my grade 10 science class, who were next. It's well-known that grade 10's are typically the rowdiest in the school - having been there for one year, they know each other, think they know how it all works, and feel like it's early enough in their high school years that they can still slack off. So I made my schpiel longer for them to really drive home the point. As expected, I got a few snickers from kids who looked like slackers and trouble-makers; so far the same people have surprised me.

One kid, who used to sit off in the back corner, is now sitting at the front. He moved there on Thursday and said "Look sir, I'm sitting here because I want to do well in the class!" "Good for you! A solid effort goes a long way."

I spoke a bit about the effort required in this course. "This course is a pretty big step up from grade 9. By nature, science is cumulative. Do you know what that means?" Many blank faces shook their heads. "It means that the new things you learn keep building on the old things you learn. Thus, if you don't study on one part, you'll get lost on the next part. So if anybody here is thinking "OK, I'm gonna slack off September, October, November, and then catch up during Christmas holidays."....NO." On day 1, I also said this to them: "Now, at some point over the next few weeks, I'm going to call home." at which several students had their jaws hit the floor. "Why sir??? I didn't even do anything yet!!!"

"No no, grade 10's cool it. I promise you, on my first call home, I'm going to say something good about you. And it won't be something stupid like 'Bob has nice hair.' It will be something like 'Bob is paying attention in class and participates.'"

"Yo sir, can you call my house first??" "No, call mine!"

I also took a shot at something I was taught during professional development - fostering an environment of appreciation. I thought to myself "OMG, that is so cheesy." but whatever, I tried it. I don't force it upon them, but I simply told them about how hard we work for certain things, and how satisfying a simple "Thank you." can be. And it's working. Days 1-3 people weren't really doing it, but now most offer a sincere "Thank you sir." when I do something as simple as give them a handout (i.e. work to do).

The grade 11 essentials class was also worrisome, with the weaker kids you never know what to expect. I gave the same speech with them, made the same deal (to phone home) with the same responses. By the end of week 1 I had called every single parent in that essentials class, and the students returned the following day much more appreciative and willing to participate. Days 1-3 I had to ask students to put their chairs up, return calculators to the front; nowadays as the period ends, they return their calculators and put up their chairs without prompting. It may sound simple, but it's a huge step forward.

Students still give me trouble, yes; as I said before, it's expected. So far, all I have to do is give a simple "Robert..." "Sorry sir." and then move on from there. When I have to stop in the middle of a lesson to work the overhead or something like that, the chatter starts immediately. But I find that once I start talking, the class goes quiet - which has been great. Out of six school days, I've gone through three without food for the entire day (helping many students during lunch who get lost very easily), and slept an average of five hours per night (often sleeping past midnight planning lessons, waking up at 6am to make it to school to make photocopies and overheads). I also get stopped often; I rarely walk down a hallway without a "Hey Mr. XXXXX!!!" or students waving at me.

So far, it's been worth it.

Splinter Hell: Two Day Grace

Finally, after two hellish days of limping and awkwardly avoiding putting pressure on my big right toe, I'm free! I just, and I mean just removed the splinter that's been stuck in it for the past two days.


This post has nothing to do with Splinter Cell. But this guy sure is in for a world of hurt...

A couple of days ago I was walking barefoot on the carpet when I felt a really sharp pain in my toe. Close inspection showed it to be some sort of sharp debris; it looked like a piece of metal shaving. I pulled on it using some tweezers, and it came out. Imagine my surprise when later, I felt another sharp pain. I looked again but couldn't see anything. However, upon closer inspection, I saw that a small piece remained, and it had gone deeper.

So I started to slowly pick away at the skin, going progressively deeper. It got to the point where it was painful just to touch it, let alone probe it with a needle. Anyway, I continued this over the course of two days (because on my first try, I was spending WAY too much time on it), and finally, it came out.

It's still a little painful to walk on, but hopefully in a couple of days it'll be ready to go.

Super Mario Theatre

In keeping with the Mario theme, here's a video of the original Super Mario Bros. being done on stage.

Super Mario Frustration

When you think back on the original Super Mario Bros. for the NES, you must think "Oh, that basic game? So easy!"

Think again. Some guy decided to create uber-difficult levels. There have a been a few players who have braved these levels and actually completed them. But not without frustration and risk of sanity.

See for yourself. (NSFW due to course and vulgar language - but totally worth it!) If you find it getting repetitive, at least watch until the 2:00 minute mark of part 2.

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3

Classic Simpsons Moments 3

Mr. Burns final sentence in this clip is one of those lines that stick out in the mind of every Simpsons fan.



From that moment on, I could never pronounce "tartar" properly; it became "TAR-TAR".

And when you mention Mr. Burns, you've gotta mention his assistant Waylon Smithers, who harbours a love for his boss far beyond friendly affection.

Classic Simpsons Moments 2

One of the things that makes the Simpsons so great is its pop culture references. This is one of my favourites.



Believe it or not, a sequel is in production.

Classic Simpsons Moments

In preparation for the upcoming movie, I've decided to re-watch some of my favourite moments from the show.

The following clip, I think, embodies the silliness, brilliance, and grace of the show perfectly: when Homer ate chips in space, all to the tune of The Blue Danube Waltz.



If you remember this episode, this is the one where Homer does not win "Employee of the Week", even though he is the final employee to not have won (union rules mandating that all win at some point). He ends up losing to a more deserving contributor - an inanimate carbon rod.

The rod getting the respect it deserves.

Since when is carbon green??? It must be radioactive.

'Thriller' Killers (and thieves, and all other types of felons)

One of the things that I've always wondered is how convicted felons pass time in prison. Now I know.

They remake classic music videos. At least that's what the Filipino ones do.



I've never been so proud of my country. I love how they use a man in place of an actual woman (for obvious reasons).

Zero Confusion

Remember when Coca-Cola came out with Coke Zero? Given today's health-conscious consumers, Coca-Cola thought it'd be a good idea to create a beverage that tasted sweeter than Diet Coke without adding calories. Using a mix of artificial sweeteners, the beverage was supposed to have a taste unique to itself.

It turns out there is a possibility of "taste confusion" (i.e. the drinker is unsure whether or not he/she is drinking Coke or Coke Zero), and yes - there has been a campaign spearheaded to sue Coca-Cola over such confusion. Unbelievable, eh? Well believe it, baby.

Here's Coca-Cola's response.

Just so there's zero confusion, don't worry; it's all just a viral campaign by Coca-Cola.

Roadspill

This afternoon I was on my way home. On the right lane, I noticed that, about 50 metres away, a van was stopped with its hazard lights on. After merging into the next lane over, I looked over. What was wrong? Flat tire? Woman in labour? Then I saw the answer.

The van had pulled right beside a light post, to which a child was standing uncomfortably close to. As the kid pulled up his pants and turned around, a big wet mark was visible.

Really, sir/madam - could you not find some place a little more discrete than a major road? I understand kids don't have as much control with their bladders, but c'mon. There's some secluded bushes and a donut shop nearby. The following sentence is going to age me, but who cares; when I was a kid, and I was on road trips, my dad wouldn't let me go over the side of the road. Instead he'd make me find an empty can/bottle and go in there while the van was moving.

Maybe that's why I have such exceptional balance these days...

Movie review: Transformers

Did I think that the movie lived up to its hype, or that it had transformed into a shell of its former self?

Before I begin, I'd like to say that I started this post talking about how I planned on seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix tonight. In that post, I made a brief, insignificant reference to Transformers. Suddenly, the thoughts kept on coming, and I decided that it would be wrong to deprive the loyal readership.

So, did I think the movie lived up to its hype, or was I sorely disappointed? Now that I've burned a paragraph, I'll cut to the chase; the latter. Go out and find Optimus (Michael Bay's version), because I'm about to flame the movie. BEWARE - spoilers abound for the five of you who haven't seen it yet.


Optimus arrives to help me set fire to the movie.

For the first hour or so, we see the Transformers disguise themselves amongst everyday forms. Bumblebee is an old car, Scorponok is your everyday run-of-the-mill giant scorpion, and Frenzy is a boombox just like in the cartoon. Oh wait, Frenzy is supposed to be a cassette tape that pounded the floor with battering rams, and Soundwave is a boombox. Whatever.


Just your everyday giant scorpion. No wonder it went undetected.

The first encounter is with a Decepticon helicopter, whose name I don't know. The Americans warn the chopper to leave as it is entering restricted airspace, but the defiant chopper lands at their base anyway. It then transforms into robot form - WHOA! The beautiful sequence takes about 5 seconds, which is dumb for a number of reasons. 1) It's not practical. Had the humans learned, they would've just dropped napalm on an unsuspecting Decepticon while it was going through the rigours of transforming. 2) In the middle of the 5 second sequence is 1 second of the famous transforming sound. Uhhh Michael....the sound is what transforming sounds like, idiot. It's not just some random sound byte you stick in the middle of the sequence. In other words, the length of the sound equals the amount of time required to transform.

Meanwhile, a boy back in the US meets up with the Autobots and is bestowed the task of saving the world; by finding his grandfather's glasses. How did the Autobots know that he had the coveted glasses? eBay, natch. How does a pair of a dead man's glasses have implications on the fate of our world? In a nutshell, there is this cube from Cybertron, the Transformers home planet, that can create robot life. If in the wrong hands, an evil-doer, such as Megatron, can create an endless army and do God knows what. In this case, wipe out human life as we know it. Once Optimus finds the cube, he vows to take it into his chest, destroying the instrument and himself in the process. As Optimus explains the history its history, we're treated to some visions of Cybertron when war raged over that damn cube. Amidst mountains, lava, and hellfire and brimstone, Autobots and Decepticons battle it out. Since when did Cybertron become Middle Earth? Why does it look so organic? Whatever.

While the boy and his crush search his room for the glasses, his parents become suspicious of loud noises coming from outside. However, they never see the Autobots (who are as big as their house) because they are remarkably good at hiding. Ummm, does anyone recall the Transformers tagline from the 80's? "Robots in disguise": i.e. they hide by turning into a form familiar to humans, remaining undetected. They don't hide by finding cover behind a bush.

After being apprehended by government officials, it's revealed that a black ops division of the US government is in possession of the cube and Megatron (under constant supervision and cyrostasis). Eventually Starscream (I think) cuts power off from the facility, disabling the cyrostasis and allowing Megatron to escape. The humans escape too, with the cube in tow. The question is, how does Megatron, a handgun, escape a deep underground facility? Simple, he's actually an X-Wing ship (of Star Wars fame). Huh? Apparently the explanation is that he's a Cybertronian ship. OK, so why didn't the other recently-landed Transformers come with their own vehicle-form already?


Run, it's an army of Megatrons!

In the end, after a long battle in the city, in which, miraculously, there were no human fatalities after billions of dollars in damage, Spike kills Megatron and the cube by inserting it into his chest. What? How the hell did he know that would kill Megatron and not make him uber-powerful? More importantly, how did Optimus Prime not think to do that? Why was he so adamant about offing himself when he could've killed off that nuisance whilst taking care of the cube dilemma?

The answer lies in Optimus' first line after Megatron dies, "I'm sorry, brother." I see; you wanted to sacrifice yourself out of love for your brother. And then what would happen to the humans you've fought so hard to protect over the past 48 hours? Do you really think that Megatron would be so touched that he would strive to continue your work? And really; BROTHERS? Please. I think that end-of-the-movie swerve induced the least amount of emotion since I discovered that solyent green was made out of people (PEOPLE!).

In the end, Bumblebee somehow gets his voice back. The kid starts making out with the girl on top of Bumbleebee while the other Autobots watch. Optimus talks about the glory of humans, and calls upon other Autobots to join them on earth. During all this sunshine happiness, Starscream escapes. SEQUEL!

In the end, I'm glad I saw it. Yes I hated it - hate is a strong word, and that's why I use it - but it's kind of like my disdain for the Simpsons; I hate it for what it has become, but watch it for what it used to be.

In Memory Of....

Before I re-post my tribute to my school-friend Johnny Lo, I should explain something.

Many of you will remember last week, I wrote an entry in honour of an old friend who had died suddenly. You may also remember that the post was, within a few hours, inexplicably removed.

That's because he was still alive.

When I went to visit him, his mother had made frequent references to the donation of his organs, and him being with Jesus now; it felt pointless, and frankly, insensitive to request confirmation: "So, he's really dead?"

I felt that it was best that his family broke the news rather than some guy the deceased hadn't seen in years. Thus, I didn't tell anybody. Later in the day, I looked at his Facebook profile to see what people were writing, and within hours, heartfelt tribute messages and RIP's appeared. "People know now, time to blog a tribute." I thought.

Imagine my shock when, hours later, I received word that Johnny was still alive. Critical, but alive. Hence the removal of the tribute post.

He hung tough for a little while longer, until a few days ago when he passed on quietly. So I'm putting the tribute back up. I've also added in a couple more stories that I recall from high school. Upon further reminiscing, he was also in my grade 12 physics class where we caused a bit of trouble.

------

Last night I logged onto Facebook to receive a disturbing message. Someone unknown to me sent a message saying that a high school buddy of mine, Johnny Lo, had been in a serious accident and was in critical care. I had an early morning interview the next morning and work in the afternoon, so I decided that I should drop by and say hello. Even though I hadn't spoken to Johnny in over five years, I thought it'd be nice to offer my support in person and see him.

Imagine how stunned I was when I got there and was informed by his mother that his organs were being donated. I was completely blindsided. On my way to the hospital I had imagined us talking briefly, reminiscing, and possibly making plans to meet up sometime after he was released.

I first met Johnny when I was in grade 6. I was new to the school, and he arrived about a couple of months later. He was an extremely friendly guy, but was often teased by the punk kids for his relatively thick Chinese accent. Despite that, he didn't let it bother him much and maintained his friendly nature. And in time, he won those punk kids over with his talents. 1) Johnny was an amazing artist. When he got bored in class, he doodled, and I remember looking over one day in curiosity and saying "Whoa! Look at that!" If I remember correctly, he had drawn his left hand with exceptional detail. 2) He was an AWESOME goalie. In grades 6 and 7, our recess games consisted of ball hockey and red-ass. After a few games, the guys started to pick up on Johnny as an exceptional goalie, and he soon became one of the first to be picked when choosing teams.

And though he didn't exactly excel at red-ass, I guess you could say his humility and characteristic of fair play shone through in a humourous way: remember how the losers of red-ass would have to stand by the wall and get thrown at? Most losers would try and argue their way out of taking shots to the butt. But Johnny would simply offer up an "Awww shit!", walk to the wall and take his shots to the butt with no complaints. Afterwards, he'd laugh and would be ready for the next round. Seriously, nothing seemed to phase him and he was always enjoying himself.

During grade 7, the movie "Ricochet", starring Ice-T, received heavy TV promotion. Everyday for lunch, my drink was a can of iced tea. I guess Johnny saw that commercial far too often, because whenever I opened the can, he'd go "WHAAAT!!! ICED TEA! RICOCHET!!! WHAAAAATT!!"

I have a few good high school memories of him. Outside of school I did play ball-hockey with him occasionally on weekends, but for the most part, him and I went our separate ways after elementary school in terms of crowd and didn't hang out much anymore. We still said hello to one another in the halls and asked how things were going. We did have grade 10 gym together, in a class full of the bad kids. He actually got along with them really well, much better than I did. I don't know how it happened, but somehow they coined this phrase that caught on - for no apparent reason, they started proclaiming, in Mortal Kombat-announcer style, "Johnny Lo...WINS!!!". Eventually it caught on with everyone and the entire class would say it at random. He loved it.

Grade 12 physics was the last class I believe I had with him. Our teacher was Mr. Tung, renowned in school for having no control over his classes whatsoever. Johnny and I took full advantage of that. At the beginning of the semester, I thought I would take the class seriously, trying to give Mr. Tung a chance to prove the naysayers wrong. But no, his class was a total joke. Once we came to that realization, Johnny and I would sometimes do stupidness at the back of the class. I have this one memory where we reenacted the latest episode of RAW (WWE wrestling) and we traded punches and clotheslines for a good five minutes. Eventually I got fed up; I pointed to something behind him to make him look, and when he turned back around, I "knocked him out" with a foreign object: my class notes.

Just before I started graduate studies, I ran into him on the U of Toronto campus. We spoke for about five minutes, and said that we'd talk again sometime. Never did I imagine that the next time would be in this form.

Goodbye Johnny. When it's my time, I hope to see you again.

More Than Meets the Eye

In less than a week's time, the Transformers return to glory (hopefully).

When news first broke of a live-action CGI Transformers, in typical fanboy form, I instantly became critical. "Man, they'd better not **** it up or it's gonna suck balls!" When I heard about how Optimus had flames painted on his body and Bumblebee wasn't a VW Beetle, I lost all faith I had in the movie. I knew I would see it, but I imagined myself pouting like a little 10 year old kid forced to attend a party he never wanted to go to.







This is NOT Bumblebee.














THIS is Bumblebee!!!






A few months ago, I heard that the trailer had come out. I thought "Whatever." But my friends, who also have fanboy-ism in them, told me that it actually looked pretty good. "If they like it, it must be good!" But I still never got around to bothering with it until I saw the trailer in theatres.

My jaw dropped at the action on the screen. OK, so Optimus had flames on his body and it made him look somewhat flaming, but I was still in awe. The transforming bits were done really well, even though they're lacking the trademark sound from the cartoon.


"Autobots....transform and roll out!"

My friend and I can't get over the bit where Josh Durmal yells "No no no NOOOO!!!" as a jet swoops down on them, only to transform into Starscream, kicking up gravel as he slides across the road. The first time I saw that I went "HOOOOOLLLYYY SHIT!!!" Or when a Decepticon (don't know which) charges into Optimus on a highway.



And now, as a preview for the upcoming movie, let us relive one of the most glorious moments in Transformers history - when Optimus Prime was revived (NSFW - trust me).



It may still suck, it may not. But I now am feverishly awaiting July 3 with the joy of a 10 year old kid counting down till Christmas.

Offence or defence?

How to kill someone in the name of "self-defence".



Whether you agree with the tactics of Bas Rutten or not, one thing's for certain:

"Dang ita dang ita DANG!"

Facebook: the new coffee?

Classic socializing beverages may soon be rendered obsolete by technology.

I have been a Facebook user even before it became a craze in Toronto, something I am quietly proud of. You know how people like to say that they were on board the hype train before it picked up steam? It's like when people say that they were listening to N'Sync back when they were underground. Yeah.

Anyway, a friend of mine from grad school (Hi Viara!) had invited me to join an online social network called Facebook. Without fully understanding what I was getting into, I registered. I added a couple of notes to my profile, wrote a few witty comments about how my feet smelled pretty bad on a distinctly hot summer day, then logged off (for reference, this was around August 2005).

My profile then sat dormant for over a year.


Socializing in the pre-Facebook era.

At teacher's college, a lot of my fellow teacher candidates began talking about their Facebook profile. "What the hell? People actually use that thing?" I curiously asked myself. The fascination of it all simply hadn't dawned on me. "You share pictures with friends, write messages to them - sounds a hell of a lot like e-mail to me." I decided to look up some old friends from high school and grade school to see who else had it.

And that's where I got hooked. Finding and reconnecting with old friends, if only for a message or two, was exhilarating. Memories of friendships past triggered memories of other friendships past, and the cycle continued.

Prior to Facebook, what took me an entire afternoon or evening to meet up for coffee/drink with an old friend (and bitching to myself for being so stupid as to actually agree to said meeting) now only took minutes. What's more, I could do it from the comfort of my own home, or even during school/work. Amazing!

Could the day ever arise where socializing beverages are no longer needed? Have we reached the point where technology threatens the marketability of drinks? Imagine that!

As I continuously reconnect with old friends and add new ones, I'm beginning to develop an inclination to log on Facebook everytime I hop online. It's bordering on addiction, much like my hook for coffee.

I need to crack the habit.


This woman is actually attending her high school reunion through Facebook. Notice the lack of a beverage.

UPDATE: This post was actually written in January 2007. Anybody who has me on Facebook has surely noticed that my activity has since dropped considerably. The crack-high only lasted so long. Now if you'll excuse me, my coffee is getting cold.

Random Homecoming

My unremarkable, yet triumphant return.

After numerous threats from the loyal fanbase that I apparently have, I have returned. What have I been up to in the past three months or so? A helluva lot. So much in fact, that I'm not even going to bother going through the motions of talking about it all.

Instead, I thought it would be nice to talk about nothing in particular. The task of recounting the major events of the past three months is much too daunting. Allowing myself to post with no direction whatsoever has encouraged me to write. So here I am.

For no reason, I've decided to post something I read out of Scientific America this past weekend.

A man was in Africa on leisure. In addition to the hat on his head, he had five hats with him. On a particularly hot day, he found shade under a tree and fell asleep. Upon awakening, he saw that, much to his dismay, five monkeys had taken five of his hats and perched themselves up on a tree, staring at him.

The man didn't know what to do. In frustration, he threw his hat to the ground. Unable to control their "monkey-see, monkey-do" compulsion, the monkeys threw down their hats. The man happily collected them and went on his way.

Decades later, the man's grandson happened to visit the same area. Again, he had five hats (in addition to the one on his head). He went to sleep under the same tree, and upon awakening, found himself in the same dilemma as his grandfather did.

Following the tale his grandfather had told him, he threw his hat down to the ground. Unfortunately, the monkeys didn't follow suit. Curiously, one monkey came down. He walked up to the man, slapped him upside the head and asked "You think you're the only one with a grandfather?"

I admit, I LOL'd in Chapter's over that one.


An image of comedic excellence? Probably not.

Stress on both sides of the equation

I am currently in the midst of my second teaching practicum. This time around, I was placed at Markville Secondary School teaching math. I have two grade 11 classes, both of which are full of very focused students who have full intentions of going to university to become doctors, dentists, etc.

As soon as I arrived, I began teaching the quadratics unit (i.e. parabolas). Within a week and a half, I was given the responsibility of writing the unit test for all of the grade 11 classes. Forget about a student writing it, drafting the damn thing from scratch was a long, arduous process.

So, after about ten full hours, many revisions, and several arguments with other teachers in the math department ("This solution is just as good as the other!" "No! It doesn't demonstrate full understanding! And it doesn't factor in...."), I have two final versions of my first full unit test!


"No, you may not write it after March Break."

I thought tonight would be stress-free, not needing to prepare for anything other than my grade 9's. But oddly enough, I find myself a bit anxious.

I'm constantly wondering, "Is it too hard?" "Will they do well?" Not only am I worried for my students sake; they don't all get it, but bless their souls, they give it their all. But a poor test mark from my students, in my opinion, reflects poorly on me; both as a teacher of the principles and as the evaluator. Either I didn't teach it well, my method of evaluation was poor, or a combination of the two.

So, to my kids....and I know some of you may be reading this since some of you clever bunch found me on Facebook; log the hell off of your computer and study!!! For both of our sakes.

Sleep well, and best of luck tomorrow.

I go the other way

Friday afternoon, walking underground to reach the subway, I was jamming away to some tunes. Then I heard a voice, and don't ask me how, but I knew it was directed at me.

Removing my headphones, I looked to my left, and saw a man. Sensing my confusion, he repeated himself

"(in tagalog) How you doin'?"

"(tagalog) Fine thanks. Yourself?"

"(Also fine, thanks.)"

I was impressed. His accent was spot on, and he sounded very confident in what he was saying. I thought he may be fluent.

"Your tagalog is excellent! Are you fluent?"

"No, not really."

"Well, either way I'm impressed."

"Actually, I do become fluent when I'm attracted to someone and I want to impress them."


A face that sets off gaydars the world over.

"Whoa...this is new." I thought to myself. Never had a dude hit on me before. As we reached the bottom step, he went to his right, I went the other way, and my oncoming train roared into the station, drowning out the awkwardness.

"Anyway, have a great weekend!"

"Yeah, you too."

You can see it in his face, the realization that I was not "his type". It sorta said "OK, I get it, you're straight." Not that I was trying to bugger him off, I thought I ended the conversation nicely, and deserve a pat on the back for being nice whilst yet establishing non-gayness.

And I guess it's cool to be thought of as attractive enough to approach. Still, kinda wish it was good-looking girl. Oh well, I'll take the ego boost.

The power of forgivness

A nice story I thought I'd share.
-------------------------------
Thief repents after 21 text messages

A Chinese thief has returned a mobile phone and thousands of yuan he stole from a woman after she sent him 21 touching text messages, Xinhua news agency said.

Pan Aiying, a teacher in the eastern province of Shandong, had her bag containing her mobile phone, bank cards and 4,900 yuan ($A800) snatched by a man riding a motorcycle as she cycled home on Friday, Xinhua said, citing the Qilu Evening News.

Pan first thought of calling the police but she decided to try to persuade the young man to return her bag.

She called her lost phone with her colleague's mobile phone but was disconnected. Then she began sending text messages.

"I'm Pan Aiying, a teacher from Wutou Middle School. You must be going through a difficult time. If so, I will not blame you," wrote Pan in her first text message which did not get a response.

"Keep the 4,900 yuan if you really need it, but please return the other things to me. You are still young. To err is human. Correcting your mistakes is more important than anything," Pan wrote.

She gave up hope of seeing her possessions again after sending 21 text messages without a reply.

But on her way out on Sunday morning, she stumbled over a package that had been left in her courtyard only to discover it was her stolen bag. Nothing had been taken.

"Dear Pan: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me," a letter inside said.

"You are so tolerant even though I stole from you. I'll correct my ways and be an upright person."

credit: Reuters

Where's the dick-lits?

This past week, I walked into a Chapter's to calm my nerves and soothe my psyche. Walking through the fiction section, I noticed that every fourth or fifth shelf contained a batch of books coloured in hot pink, bright yellow, and orgasmic orange. What other book genre would boast such colours? Chick-lit!

What is chick-lit? Chick-lit is an abbreviation for "chick literature", or girly novels. Some examples would be the Shopaholic series, and the "Something Borrowed, Something Blue" books. I would even group in some romantic, dramatic novels, such as "The Time Traveller's Wife". Since I was bored with nothing to do, I picked some of them up and started reading a bit.....who am I kidding? I picked them up because I was insanely interested.

VS
As a guy's guy, let me tell you: this is a no-brainer.

I admit it, I love novels that deal with issues that are considered girly: most notably, love, dating and romance. Unbeknownst to many of my peers and family members, I've read, and own, several dramatic novels that can be considered chick-lit (think again if you think I'm going to list the titles!).

Although the interest is there, I can't read the extremely girly books (the one's covered in the aforementioned colours). Not only because I'll have to surrender my balls at the register when I voluntarily pay for these books, but because they approach the topics of interest from the female psyche. Wanting to read a chick-lit, I was faced with a dilemma. So I did the only thing I thought I could do--I immediately went home and started googling "girly novels for guys" and putting in the appropriate queries on amazon.ca and chapters.ca. And I found some interesting things.

I stumbled across a blog of a (female) romance writer, who states that "22% of romance readers are male.", although the percentage of these male readers who are coerced into reading them by their girlfriends/wives is not mentioned. Second, in England, dick-lit, or "lad lit", as it is referred to over there, is a surging literary genre. Hence the rise of UK lad lit writer Nick Hornby, who wrote "About a Boy" and "High Fidelity", books that may be considered girly but approach the subjects with the male psyche in mind. Third, on amazon.ca, there are several guy readers who have posted their lists of favourite dick-lit books (I'm sticking to my own label for the genre).

It's great that there are more dick-lit books coming out, but..more, more I say! Hell, there are some of us that want to read up on all that dating/romance stuff too. We deserve it. And if you're laughing it up with the revelation that I'm a dating/romance junkie, suck my dick-lit.